I had posted this on Valucre.com -- but this is one of my most LOLreviews, so I felt compelled to blog it.
DISCLAIMER: Loads of cussing.
Ha. Here's the extent of my displeasure: Story time!
So we're on the way to see a movie, that I didn't really want to see anyways, BUT -
1.) it was free
2.) it was to be a family thing.
Dad calls. He's not coming because there's "just not enough daylight anymore to get things done".
Sarah calls. She's not going to make it because she's out with Paula (bff) and they're dress shopping for Paula's soon-to-be wedding.
That leaves me, Heather, Beth, and Mom. =/ ...
Here's where you all get the slack-ass version of a boring movie because I physically cannot bring myself to actually post up a serious review.
Secretariat.
It's a movie about a fuckin' horse. The fuckin' horse stands fast at birth. And runs faster. Whoopdy-fuckin-do.
It's a Disney movie, also -- did I mention this? So you KNOW -- THE HORSE WILL WIN. 10 minutes into watching this.
If you knew NOTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS MOVIE AND THE FUCKIN' HORSE -- DISNEY DOESN'T DISAPPOINT. BAM. HORSE WINS.
FYI -- THIS ISN'T A SPOILER, IT'S RETARDED COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO PLEASE THE MASSES.
-- yes, yes -- it's a "true" story, still over-exaggerated like all Disney flicks.
So.
OMGFAMILYSTRUGGLE. DOES SHE CHOOSE THE HORSE OR THE FAMILY IN THE 60s?
NEITHER -- It's DISNEY. She fuckin wins it all. Takes the cake. The horse. The family. And the fuckin' movie.
There. I'm done.
If you wanna be bored for fuckin' 2 hours. Go see this movie.
Then -- you can kill yourself.
Rating: 3/10 - because the fuckin' horse was pretty. +3
-_- Fuck My Life.
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